Sugar Wanted

Today has been totally about food! I didn't realize it last week, but I got hooked on sugar. This is one thing I feared quite a lot when I came to USA. A few months ago I didn't eat anything sweet. It's not that I didn't like sweets - I just never bought them. My husband was secretly eating candy when I wasn't around. I was just glad he rarely did it near me. My avoidance of carbohydrates didn't seem so extreme then, but actually I didn't eat anything with sugar or excess carbohydrates. I didn't even eat pasta or rice or potatoes. When someone offered such food, I gladly accepted, but I acknowledged it as a sugary treat. I also limited fruits and rarely ever drank sugary drinks. When I got pregnant, I reintroduced pasta into my diet.

Gained 1,2 kg in 8 days. Seems all of it on my belly.

Soon after I got arrived in USA I started making exceptions for things that I "had to try once". Then I started making exceptions for other things, thinking it wasn't good to limit myself too much when pregnant. I still kept to my regular diet of three meals per day, very regular breakfast, diverse lunch and a healthy dinner. I did eat snacks, but I still ate at the right time.

In LA, it changed. I tried to keep to my regular diet. I made sure I have basic breakfast material - granola (semi-processed version of muesli) and yogurt. But then most of the time my lunch wasn't at 12 o'clock like usually and it was always different food. My dinners also varied a lot, most extreme case was of course Thanksgiving, but I think it wasn't so bad that the big meal was so huge, I think it was much worse that I skipped lunch that day. After a few days of this kind of eating I stopped needing breakfast and I didn't even notice when it was 12 o'clock and I was supposed to eat lunch. I was snacking on different tasty things and I didn't feel hungry but I wasn't keeping to my eating schedule. And as easy as that, I was hooked on sugar.

Pretty. I wish it was something natural like fireflies.

Anyway, I came back to continue with my regular life rhythm. And things weren't bad, but I constantly felt like eating something sweet. I couldn't stop thinking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches which I still haven't tried yet. I kept imagining how good all the pastries are that I passed by in the morning when I was buying myself lunch. I was thinking about various kinds of sugary sweets and I did that even when I wasn't really hungry. I ate two apples after my lunch although I always eat just one. It sounds pretty stupid but I REALLY wanted a sugar-covered pastry even though I had eaten lunch 3 hours earlier.

Haven't seen a spider yet, but I won't walk through here.

So yeah, now it all starts from the beginning. No eating out for a few days because then I have better control over what I eat. I restocked on healthy food today - bought vegetables, fruits and meat. You can only imagine how many times I had to use pure willpower to walk past cookies or cakes... The following few days will be like a tasty diet. According to plan, everything I eat will be very appealing, but it will be low in sugar. No snacking between meals. No sugary drinks. The only allowed sugar is fruits - oranges and apples. And of course my sugary breakfast granola and I'm not allowed to snack on it at any other time. I will eat pasta and other non-sweet carbs during a proper meal, but only if the majority or calories is still coming from proteins/fats and I'm not overeating. And once I stop dreaming about bagels, I will buy bread again.